Here it is...
Dear _______,
They said, “When you fall in
love you should keep a part of yourself safe should the feelings wither.” What
they didn’t tell me was that before one even knows they have fallen in love,
bits and pieces of themselves change with every meeting or conversation. It
might come to a point they would think there’s nothing of their original selves
left.
And that’s just what
happened with me.
Honestly, before you came
along, the future seemed less complicated. I thought I figured everything out,
that I could handle anything… but when you came into my life, you pointed out what
I was missing.
Flexibility. The
world is filled with countless possibilities that any minute detail can
potentially throw me off track. Usually, I would take it as a signal that the
journey has ended and I should move on to other things. You taught me that
should it go there, it doesn’t necessarily mean the journey has ended. “Another
option has opened up. Take it as a side dish to your adventure.” was what you
would say.
Trust. Emotionally, it may
seem I have control, but deep inside it’s torrential and I have no idea where
it should go. I didn’t know what I was keeping inside was eating me from within
until you came up and listened. And I felt different. I felt better. I then
knew what I had to change and what I had to let go.
Vulnerable. It seems like deep inside me
a screw came loose and it was never how it used to be. I began to open up more, and in the process I felt more. It’s through exposing myself that I fell for you.
You broke me, like they said they would. Yet, if it weren’t for you, I
would have remained broken. The shell I was in kept the pieces together, but it didn't really fix anything. I wasn't whole... just pieces that don't really fit.
Then you came and... made sense of it all.
Now that you’re not close
by, with your own life to lead, it annoys me that I end up looking for you in
places I know you wouldn’t be. It annoys me that I want to tell you what
happened today, be it a high or a low. It annoys me to need your reassurance
whenever I’m in a bind.
This yearning for you is a feeling I would have preferred
living without, but should I be given the option to start all over again, I
would still choose to meet you.
Love,
A
