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Sometimes I wished I had more time to spare. More days to spend with you. These past several months flew by like wisps of thought. I could barely take hold onto any of them.
I relive every moment. Every second that I spent laughing, talking, arguing, and walking alongside you, lying next to you in complete silence. No word uttered from the other's lips, merely enjoying the presence of the other.
I would miss how we would walk around campus with music from my phone playing in the background, against the deafening silence of the night. Talking about random stuff and how each other's day went before sinking back into comfortable silence, lost in our own thoughts but not forgetting about the one beside us.
I would miss how we laugh at the crudest things and find something funny in almost anything. How we laugh like idiots on the sidewalk and ignore the looks shot our way for we were too darn happy to care what they think. I would miss your jokes, the expectant face and excited tone that came with it.
I would miss every tick of the hand, every drop of rain, every turn of the page... anything that would remind me of those times we spent in the library enveloped in the scent of paper and newly washed floors. Us sitting comfortably side by side or across each other, our attention on the books in our hands.
I would miss you reading to me. Telling me stories of a life I never once knew. Sharing with me things you never would to anyone. Letting me in, letting me be a part of you. Trusting me. I would miss how you wrote about your feelings. How you would tell me it's utter trash and I would dissuade you from throwing it away. How you would be so happy to tell me you wrote something new.
I would miss the times we spend in your car laughing at jokes on the radio or listening to your playlist. How we spend our time together when stuck in traffic. How we try to find a new place where we can go to and try out for the day.
I would miss our long chats at a local cafe with me taking brewed coffee while you going for the frappe. I would make myself comfortable in my plushed chair, being lulled to sleep by the blanket on my lap and the warmth emanating from your body as you sit closely next to me. You wouldn't wake me until you're done with your drink, teasing me mercilessly for having fallen asleep again.
I would miss waiting for you after class or our lunches. How you would complain and I would listen. How I would complain and you comment. How you would raise a really controversial topic, launching us both into a heated debate over chicken and Cola.
I would miss you asking me to accompany you for an errand or asking me for pieces of advice despite me not being well knowledgeable about the topic.
I would miss giving you cards, small gifts, or bars of chocolate. And I would miss getting some from you too with an added grin on your face like you've done the grandest thing in the world. I would miss surprising you with cake and a song number, which I would still pull through despite you telling me not to for I make the gods cry.
I would miss the countless hours we spend at the laboratory. How we end up getting into a tickle fight, shielding our bellies with our arms, books, hands, bags, or whatever is within our reach at that present moment.
I would miss the way you held my hand and positioned the other behind my back, ushering me for a dance. I laugh nervously for I forgot how and you guided me through every step.
I would undeniably miss you.
And I wouldn't mind if you didn't feel the same way. You wouldn't know I felt this way. We would go our separate ways without even looking back. You would soon find someone to replace me, and I might too. Life continues and all these times we have spent with each other would be nothing but memories at the back of our minds, only to be brought to light on our next encounter.
I just hope you remember.
Just remember how it was. How we were both happy.
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