Thoughts: Warmth

So I decided to turn in the pen on mushy stuff and figured I should write about something else for a change. 

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Christmas.

What's the first thing that comes to mind when you hear it?

Love. Cheer. Family. Christmas food. Gifts. Homemade cookies with mugs of warm milk or cocoa. Snow. A well-lit fireplace with you and your loved ones, snug under woolly blankets or wrapped in hand knit scarves, around it. Late night conversations over a board game. Stories about that big man that goes down the chimney and hops from one home to another in a red sleigh drawn by flying reindeer. Christmas bonuses. Kisses. Hugs. Goodbyes. Another cold night under the stars, you frantically looking for anything to keep you warm throughout the night. A barrage of carolers. Christmas songs being played over and over. Stores brimming with people shopping for Christmas presents. Christmas parties where in most you don't even want to attend but you have to because you don't want to make anyone feel bad or dislike you.

Going through the list above, it seems that Christmas can take on a whole bunch of meanings, both good and bad. 

Well, if someone asked me that... I would have to say: warmth. Small acts of kindness, a phone call or a text from someone you care about, home-cooked full course meals, presents, touches of affection... all these bring in warmth.

My Christmas has a lot of warmth in it. 

Despite us not having those Christmas traditions most families would have, like having to perform in front of relatives and the like or having the entire kin meet up for a day or two, we try to get in as much warmth into our celebration as possible. Even if my mom just got back from work at the clinic or being called in for an emergency or papa had things to take care of (for business) other than the holiday dinner, we try not to let such things trouble us much and just bury it in what followed that night. 

We don't have reunions. Our family is so dispersed that calling in each one would be such a great inconvenience. Worth it and probable, yes. And I'm not saying that they dislike the idea. You just can't call on everyone to rendezvous in one place for two weeks or less for the sole reason it's Christmas Eve and you want to dine together. You have to be practical about it. The cost for lodging and food, and they have jobs to take care of too, can be a great hindrance. You can never be selfish; even though you want to be and you do have a point to think so since it is Christmas. You cannot expect, especially when the concerned party has a family of their own, for them to just come to you because Christmas is to be spent with 'family'.

That's why when I think of Christmas I never really think about family. There's just me and my parents and younger brothers. A Facebook greeting to other relatives and a phone call to my grandparents. That's all there is. For some reason, I'm okay with it. Used to it perhaps. The warmth I search for is there nonetheless. 

Still I can't help but think how it would be if things were any different. If how we celebrated Christmas was similar to how other people celebrated it. But I guess that's too much to ask for.

I'm content with how it is with mine. :)